I originally wrote this review and clearly the filmmakers didn't like that I was honest about their film and had it deleted. I notice they changed the release date too and now all the user ratings which were very low are gone. This film came out in 2012 when I saw it in a theater. Being sneaky is not going to make this junk any better. Fact is it was very bad movie and that is my opinion which is what these reviews are for. I never write these things but I found a flyer from this film I attended last year in the back of a drawer and thought wow that's something I didn't need to be reminded of maybe I should spare others. My employer was one of the sponsors to this festival event and I wound up with free tickets so what the hell right? Wrong. I should have known anything premiering at a mall in Jersey City, NJ by the Footlocker would be an infuriating waste of time. But Robert Loggia the guy that danced on a piano with Tom Hanks and was once nominated for an Oscar is in it how bad could it be right? Wrong. What he is doing in this film is confusing at best. At best it can be summed up as this. That naked guy from Shameless Zach McGowan is a photographer that if you didn't watch the trailer yet where they tell you this fun fact wait for it ********* gets an "upskirt" shot of the other roommate from Three's Company 40 years ago who plays the ditsy first lady. That would be the first lady of the United States. I was thinking exactly what you are right now. There's also that guy from Baywatch and that guy from The Karate Kid. You see where I'm going with this? It is mostly a bunch of that guy from that show or you know that movie with the kid and he did this? Come on man you know who I'm talking about. That guy. The acting is stale by all. The lead Zach gets this photo accidentally and has to decide what to do with it. How hard could it be for a 30 year old man to decide you ask? Hard it seems. His acting is not that bad but the lines he is forced to say are. He spends much of his time trying to figure out whether to sell the photo and fix all his financial problems or not and arguing with his cougar girlfriend played by the sure to stay unknown actress Angela Gots that as my colleague said looks like an ape. Her voice is deep and grating, quite unsightly and homely looking, and her acting is plain bad. I wouldn't want her yelling at me. It is like nails on a chalkboard but instead of high pitch it's deep and masculine. Maybe that is what they were going for. When the lead is not trying to hold on to his relationship or dealing with family problems he is being physically beaten and threatened in the most dramatic ways. Michael Pare plays the President and he's actually a pretty good actor in a bad film. The rest of the actors are horrible and unbelievable. There's also two blonde porn star looking girls thrown in the mix to make you really see this as a believable story. No offense I just can't come up with a better way to describe their appearance in a visual. The one pretty girl has a small part as a doctor but her acting was no better and they put too much makeup on her. When was the last time you went to a hospital and saw a doctor with long flowing blonde hair and a face full of heavy makeup? I quickly checked my iPhone after this and noticed it was directed by none other than the Witchblade guy Eric Etebari that went off the air like 10 years ago. Since then he has been that guy in 2 Fast 2 Furious, that guy in Cellular, and that guy in Lincoln Lawyer. You know the guy with the yellow hair on the witness stand. That guy. If this was a go at making a serious and meaningful soul searching drama after a string of studio action entertainment films to be taken seriously it didn't work. Ironically he is the only one who looks like he should be on screen out of the whole cast but only had a small part. The writing is bad and cheesy. If you are looking for a sample of this watch the trailer or read the storyline written on here. Don't you have to be a professional writer to write a film? It seemed like a kid wrote this and someone actually gave them money to make it. The most interesting part for me was the after party reception in the lobby of the theater. A bunch of people roaming around trying to look important. It's a mall not the Ziegfeld. The cast stood around looking hopeful anyone would talk to them or taking photos while I recall the director seemed to be drinking beers looking annoyed like he was running away from someone all night. Probably the women who seem to follow him everywhere he went especially one actress he ducked and dodged all night. This was all far more interesting than the film itself so that should tell you everything you need to know about this film. I can report I got free cold beer which is a win to any warm blooded male before I hopped back on the train to Williamsburg. My vote is to skip it. If it wasn't free tickets the brew would not help. It was a strange experience. Hollywood did not come to Jersey City.
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They say a picture is worth a thousand words. Former paparazzi Thomas Grady's most recent photo, a scandalous shot of the First Lady, is certainly worth more, a lot more.
November 11, 2020