Swallows and Amazons

IMDb Rating 6.2 10 2


Downloaded 235,229 times
April 7, 2019


Andrew Scott as Professor Moriarty
Elizabeth Berrington as Ffion Russell
Jessica Hynes as Angel Matthews
Rafe Spall as Tommy Chapman
720p.BLU 1080p.BLU
706.61 MB
23.976 fps
96 min
P/S N/A / N/A
1.47 GB
23.976 fps
96 min
P/S N/A / N/A

Movie Reviews

Reviewed by saggitarius-88 1 / 10 / 10

A monstrous trashing of a brilliant story

What a mess. What a travesty. Point by point, scene by scene, the film makers went through destroying the characters one by one. I will start by saying I am biased. I am a sailor. I kept my boat in Secret Water for twenty years. I live in Ransome country, the plots of several of his books takes place a matter of a few miles away. His boats Nancy Blackett and Peter Duck are familiar sights on the Deben. I've read most of the books aloud to the children. "Better drowned than duffers, if not duffer won't drown" says the famous telegram. Drown the lot of them then, I say. The capable and responsible Walker children in the book are converted into a bunch of moronic twits who are so lacking in skill they cannot get to the island without losing their stores over the side of the boat. The mate Susan, whose skillful catering and management underpins all of the Swallows adventures in the books, freely admits that she can't bake, and destroys their caught fish in the frying pan after butchering it with an apparently blunt knife and mashing it to pulp. She spends the rest of the film moaning that her brother John won't tell her anything. Possibly one might have been forewarned by the politically correct renaming of the wonderful Titty of the books, ships cartographer and log keeper, into 'Tatty'. Tatty is the word. The book-based Swallows pride themselves in the ability to start a campfire with a single match. Not so the wallies in this film, who lose their box of matches into the lake. Captain John, in the books full of a sense of responsibility for his crew and ship, continually shouts at his brother and sisters, blaming them for every misfortune. He abandons members of his crew without any indication what he is doing. He also succeeds in letting Roger, who cannot swim, fall overboard in the middle of the lake. There is little to say about Nancy, the pinnacle of most of the stories; as she was wholly lacklustre and appeared in every scene to be acting. The parents are just as bad. Mrs Walker is clearly lacking the slightest sense of judgement to let her continually fighting unfriendly children anywhere near a sailing boat, let alone in the absence of life jackets. Mrs Jackson, the kindly Native at Holly Howe, turns out to be a pessimistic grouch. Jim Blackett, Titty's 'retired pirate', amazingly, turns out to be a spy being pursued by Russians. The film practically revolves around this extraordinarily bad idea. And it culminates, would you believe it, with the two crews of the Swallow and Amazon lassoing a Sea Plane - in the control of the Russian spies and carrying the bound captive uncle Jim - in the attempt to restrain it from taking off. Which they are surprised to find does not work. Every moment had me cringing a bit deeper into my seat, as the unbearably unlikely plot unfolded, and the Swallows demonstrated more and more that they should be far far away from water. We watched the old film version as an antidote. What a relief to see these young and capable actors taking on the roles in the books with such a high degree of success, and following pretty faithfully the entertaining and amusing story line that has delighted millions of readers. Just a beautiful tale of children doing cool things.

Reviewed by sojanofficial 1 / 10 / 10

Countryside England, Children, an Island and Adventure.

Being a fan of Enid Blyton, I have always craved for a good adaptation of books like famous 5, secret 7 for the silver-screen. Though that never came by, found this movie instead. Countryside England, Children, an Island and Adventure. What more can you ask for ♥️

Reviewed by johnbirch-2 1 / 10 / 10

If the director thought Swallows & Amazons was too gentle for modern audiences, why bother making this travesty?

I have to be honest and say I always loved Swallows and Amazons. I read the whole series again and again until the spines fell apart. It was so real that I could imagine doing it (if only I had brother and sisters). I dreamt about story. Back in 1974 I persuaded my father to take us to Basingstoke to see the film of the book that had just it come out. I loved it. I got the record (showing my age here) and played it and played it. It was so perfect, from the story to the characters they got it absolutely right in every way. So I was excited to see this remake - what could be better than introducing the new generation to this pitch perfect story. But it's awful. I really cannot get over how truly bad it is. Apparetly the director felt that modern children would not enjoy the original story as it was too tame (missing the entire point that it is the realism and the plausibility that makes it so endearing). So where the 1974 film got it so right, this gets it so very, very wrong its hard to know where to begin. Compared to the book, the story takes place approaching a decade later (why?). The actors are wrong, do not interact at all well, and bicker and argue continually. John, Susan and the Amazons are all too old. The Walker family come over as being inept sailors (John excepted) and frankly incompetent in most things, which the Swallows were not. They look, sound and behave like 21st century city children suddenly dropped into the 1930s... apart from John's unaccountable ability to sail. It gets worse when the Amazons come along. They do not both have red scarves (why?). One has the most ridiculous blonde dyed hair (in 1930s Cumbria). Supposedly sisters, they both have totally different - and very unCumbrian - accents, and when they are introduced the classic joke "My name is really Ruth but Nancy says pirates are ruthless" is dropped (again why?). As for the adult actors, they are seen far too much, are woefully miscast (Harry Enfield FFS!), are clearly do not know whether to play it for a laugh or take it seriously. Then there is the Russian spy nonsense, thrown in for no good reason other than the director having no faith in the original material. It is a mess. A total, utter, travesty of a mess. Its Swallows and Amazons as written by Enid Blyton on an off-day, with the Famous Five playing the Swallows. And if you have never, ever seen or heard of S&A before? Well, its okay I suppose - but hardly going to drag you into the cinema, ordrag you away from your console. And if you do like it heaven alone knows what you'll make of the books...

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